For Fucks Sake STOP RAINING

1. I've learned one of the most annoying sounds to me is a basketball hitting the concrete.  28 and I'm still learning things about myself.

2. It currently smells like bonfire outside which really makes me want s'mores.  I haven't had one in FOR-freaking-EVER.  At some point this summer it needs to get gooey up in here.

3. A list of ambitious things I currently want to do:

• Thru-hike the AT
• Hike the Grand Canyon Rim2Rim
• Kayak Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore (I hiked here a bit last year but didn't do any kayaking.  It's a good thing I didn't plan to because they were constantly post-poning trips due to the waves.)
• Bike the CVNP towpath.  This would be most doable this year as I just need to get a bike rack for my car.  Though I did discover I can fit my bike in my car, it's a pain in the ass to get it in there.

I really just think I want to go outside and escape from city life.  Or at least get away from all this damn rain we've been getting.  Everything is waterlogged.  Which is SO DaMN ANnOYINg.

4. Things I'm currently looking forward to:

• Getting my damn hair cut.  This is in the longest it's been in years and I'm just shedding like a husky in the spring everywhere.
• Day trip to Pittsburgh next month.
• Going back up to Mackinaw for a weekend in a few months.
• North Carolina in a few more months.
• Eating some cake that's in the fridge waiting for me.
• Finding my motivation again.  It's slipped away recently and I would really like for it to come back.

5. Just ridin' the waves for now.  Evan and I want to get a place of our own this year which means I really need something full time but nothing looks exciting and what does look exciting is only part time or crap pay.  Adulting sucks.

6.  Actually for the most part, adulting doesn't suck.  My favorite thing about it is not having to do dumb social shit I don't wanna do.  If I wanna sit in bed on my day off and watch 30 videos taste testing instant Ramen noodles then dammit that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm Not Dead, At Least on the Outside...

1. Uh, hi.  This is awkward.  Been awhile.  How are you?

2. Things that happened in the last almost 3 years:

• Evan and I got engaged.  No there is no date planned, no you're not invited because while I may be engaged, I still hate weddings and don't want one.  Evan isn't as easy to convince as he wants something like super small.  I pointed it out to him that just us is in fact super small but he's not buying it.  In my mind we've been married for the last five years so all of this wedding business is nothing special.  Marriage is a state of mind, not a ceremony.
• I finally got my drivers license and a car.  Yeah, yeah, took long enough I know.  I don't like being thrown into things I'm not ready for and, well, I was finally ready for that one.  Don't let anyone rush you into things you're not ready for.
• Holy travel, Batman!  I finally went all over New England three times in the past year and a half.  I returned to the Upper Peninsula for some hiking and beaching.  I hadn't been to the UP since 2008.  Two more returns to Disney World.  Unfortunately I have no immediate travel plans this year.  No vacations are planned and I'm feeling so blah about it. 
• I continue to learn more about myself than I ever have.  My self confidence has sky-rocketed.  Anxiety is at an all time low.  I took up yoga the past few years and started going to the gym this year and I've been feeling much better about my outlook on life and myself.
• I've read so many books.  Gah.  So many.
• I slid down a hill and got my pants muddy.  Okay, this was yesterday but that's still within the past almost 3 years frame.  Fun fact: even dry leaves are pretty slippery.  Goodtimes.

3. I've been bothered by the next direction I want to go in.  Part of me wants to take off and live somewhere completely new and part of me wants to stay around the Cleveland area.  I've been trying to sit back and as Christians say "let God handle it" and while it's rough I've been letting the universe run its course.  I just feel like if I don't get active about it nothing will happen and I'll just be stuck in the same beat up town with the same part time job going nowhere.  Maybe one day I'll stop being a turd.

4. I'm currently reading a book about gun violence in Chicago.  The US in general has some big gun issues, however, I have been fortunate enough to have only seen the guns by father owns as well as police guns in real life.  I've never seen another civilian with a gun.  I'm not against people owning guns at all.  You're allowed.  I've just always found them cowardly.  Something to hide behind instead of facing things yourself.  I know other people disagree and I'm totally cool with that.  Maybe one day we'll all stop being turds.

5. I need to learn to show my appreciation more.  To let people know I care about them.  I've always been the person that cares a shit ton, usually too much, but then will act like I don't care.  I should probably stop that.  People like to know you care for them.  It's part of the human condition.

Cup Zoo Paradise Breeze

1. In May I again attended another Lake Erie Monsters playoff game.  Unfortunately they did not win this one.  I said it's because I didn't buy a pin because the other two games I bought a regular pin and then a playoff pin and since I didn't have one to buy this time, we lost.  This would stay true leading into my attendance of the 4th finals game where the Monsters won the Calder Cup on June 11th.  They won because I bought the finals pin. XD  In all honesty it was a surreal experience to see a team win a championship live.  I still can't believe I was there.  It was a phenomenal experience that I was so thankful I had the opportunity to attend.  I'll always remember that feeling.

2. Evan and I went back to our home zoo, the Cleveland Metroparks Zoo, earlier this month as well.  The new tiger exhibit had just opened a few days before we went and it was really cool to see even though the tigers haven't explored it much yet.  There's still so many things that the zoo needs to update but they are slowly coming along.  It was a good time.

3.  Megan and I took a day trip out to Put in Bay, aka South Bass Island, aka Key West of Ohio.  We rented bikes and rode around the island stopping at Perrys Cave to cave explore and gem mine, Crystal Cave/Heineman Winery for a tour and sampling, lunch at Frostys Pizza, a visit to Perrys Memorial, Put in Bay Winery tour, and other general island exploring.  We stopped at the Scheef Nature Preserve which I had never been to and was cool to see.  It was an absolutely beautiful day out and the island wasn't busy at all.  I highly recommend going to the Lake Erie Islands on a weekday.  Take it from a local.

4.  I survived camp week at work!  It all went rather smoothly and I can say I had some fun while doing it too.  Now that is over with I should have an easy breezy summer ahead.

Two Months of Adventures

The past two months have flown by.
Here we are already on Star Wars Day of 2016.  This was the first SWD in the past three years I was not at my local Disney Store at opening to get a "May the 4th Be With You" pin.  Partly because I don't think they did one this year but mostly because I was scheduled to work.
Anywhoo, let's catch up on all of the adventures since the last post.

1. The day before Easter I participated in an Adult-Only Easter Egg hunt at one of the local Metroparks.  It was $10 and I figured even if I didn't win anything big, the money would at least go to the parks system which I frequent often.  Now an Adult-Only Easter Egg hunt may sound pretty cool but it was one of the lamest things I've ever done.  Eggs were just thrown on paths so there wasn't any hunting involved.  Unless you were a sprinter you weren't getting anything.  I got one lowsy egg that had a root beer barrel in it.  I also fell and scraped up my knee getting that one egg.  Megan and I were feeling like losers so to cheer ourselves up we hightailed it to Applebees for margaritas and chocolate lava cake which just made everything feel better.

2. Easter was spent with Evan and his family for the morning/afternoon.  We ate at Carabbas which was delicious followed by wandering around the few open shops at Crocker Park and making a few stops along the lakeshore to walk on the beach and pier.  The evening was spent at my family's get together.

3.  At the very end of March, Kali, Jessica, and I had a Cleveland adventure day.  We started off by getting breakfast in Coventry at the Inn on Coventry where I had some delicious and very filling Reeses cup pancakes.  We then spent hours exploring the Cleveland Museum of Art which included taking in the current exhibit "Pharaoh: King of Egypt".  This led to exploring around Edgewater Park followed by a trip to Carol and Johns Comic Shop (where I bought too much) and dinner at PizzaFire where I had a delicious margherita pizza.  It was such an amazing day to enjoy with two of my favorite ladies.  We don't all get to hang out too often so this adventure was much needed.

4. At the very very end of March, Evan and I celebrated our eight year anniversary.  We tried Bisto 83 in Ridgeville which was absolutely amazing, I can't wait to get back.  We then, of course, stopped at Twist n Shake for dessert.

5. In the middle of April my mom and I went up to Auburn Hills, Michigan for a shopping weekend.  We left on a Friday and went to Somerset Collection which was a bit too poo-pah and uppity for my taste.  Don't get me wrong, it was an absolutely beautiful mall which felt like it would fit great in California but it's not my style.  We checked in to our hotel right by the Great Lakes Crossing Outlets and ate at Qdoba that evening and relaxed.  We spent all of Saturday and the Outlets where I found some awesome deals on yellow bird pants and Saint Laurent sunglasses.  I also checked out the 2nd and Charles bookstore where of course I bought a book.  We checked out of our hotel Sunday morning and stopped at IKEA on the way back home.  This was my first time EVER in an IKEA and it was pretty damn overwhelming at first.  I ended up coming home with a tiny stuffed mouse (named him Ike, he was 99 cents and hiding in a cupboard so I had to), dresser baskets which I had looked at online last year but wasn't going to pay ridiculous shipping for them, and another handy container/organizer doodad.  It was a great weekend to spend with my mom. :)

6. Kelsey and I adventured one Friday to the Greater Cleveland Aquarium which was pretty cool.  Expensive, but really neat.  We also grabbed lunch at Market Garden Brewery where the beer cheese soup was soooo goooood and stopped at the West Side Market for some goodies.  It was awesome to spend some time with another one of my favorite ladies who I hadn't seen at all in much too long.

7. I went to a Lake Erie Monsters playoff game.  Now it took 10 years after seeing the Indians for the first time for me to get to go to a post-season game for them but with the Monsters it took 2 months.  It was a blast and they won and I got a tshirt and towel.

8. Megan and I went to a yoga class.  I hadn't done yoga since high school and I forgot how painful but cleansing it is.  I really wish I could go every Saturday but I work a lot of Saturdays and sadly won't be able to go for the next few weeks.  We then went for a wander around Schoepfle Gardens which is another local Metropark that I hadn't been to yet.  It was great seeing all of the tulips in bloom and the trees starting to open even though my allergies can beg to differ.

9. Evan and I went to the Akron Zoo this past weekend.  This was my first time at the Akron Zoo and I'm really glad I visited.  It's really small but you're pretty close to the animals.  I also enjoyed how the penguins were the first exhibit you see when you enter.  Winning!

So yeah, it's been a crazy past few months.  It's definitely had some downs with some work stresses but I'm currently in a period of being out of a funk and into enjoying everything that I can.  Love yourself & stay smilin'!

Pre-Sleep Thoughts: Take Two

I've been very restless with where I'm at in life.  Constantly questioning every single thing.  One thought that came to mind that I had never really explored before is why I stay in my own country.  Whenever I think about moving I've only thought of moving to a different state.  Florida, Georgia, out west, always somewhere within the borders of my home country.  Why?  I have never thought about moving to a new country before.  The world is so large and I have only constricted myself to living in one tiny part of it.

This came to mind because I've been looking at taking the train somewhere for my birthday weekend.  Since I only have the weekend and the States are absolutely abhorrent in the availability of public transport, it must be relatively close by.  I was looking at Niagara Falls.  I've never been and haven't been to Canada in a very long time.  Then I realized that a friend I may be going with doesn't have a passport.  These imaginary boundaries that humans have placed on the Earth are frustrating.  If only I were able to simply continue moving north over this large land mass I am currently on.  But...no.  I need a card or a booklet to continue on my way.  This made me think of all the other land masses I have never visited.  I could even live there if I wanted.  The American way of life is the only thing I know but what if it isn't the right lifestyle for me?

See You On The Upside

1.  In February I attended my first hockey game.  Now I'm not really a sports fan but if I'm there actually witnessing it, I'm totally into it.  There's still at ton I don't know about hockey but in watching it is now my second favorite sport behind baseball.  Evan and I went to a Lake Erie Monsters game and somehow they actually won even though I thought the other team had a lot more control over the puck.  Anyways, it was still a great experience but I would love to go to an actual NHL game, preferably in Canada but I'm all for seeing the Pens too.

2.  Evan and I also went to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History.  I hadn't been there since the first grade and the only thing I remembered from that was the planetarium which of course I had to do.  An exhibit on poison had just opened that day and it was pretty cool.  There was an interactive book that was just a big open blank book where the pages were screen projected but it was a ton of fun to play with.  There were games where you had to determine what caused an ailment to humans or animals by searching for clues.  My favorite thing about the museum were these little interactive exhibits because even though I've been to the National Museum of Natural History, I don't remember there being much in the ways of interactivity.  The planetarium would have been more interesting if it were information that I didn't already know.  The star show at the end and the "Cleveland Natural History Museum Special" were the best.  Narrator, Dr. Tyson, just spoke too slowly for my taste.

Following the museum we headed to Melt in Lakewood.  This was my second visit to this place and I wasn't disappointed.  I had the Parma, Italy grilled cheese which is pretty much a chicken Parmesan sandwich.  I actually would have liked it better without the chicken because the sauce and cheese were good enough.  I also tried the cocktail of the month, Chocolate Covered Strawberry.  This was very good but a bit on the expensive side.  We also went next door to the sweets shop and I picked up some beer cheese popcorn and a chocolate raspberry cupcake.

3.  On Leap Day, my cousin celebrated a milestone birthday where we had a girls night out.  We had dinner and drinks at Winking Lizard and then took a painting class at Painting With a Twist.  It was a really good time and I would totally love to take more of their classes.  The only problem is, I have no idea where I would hang more paintings!  Luckily I had an empty space on my wall for the current one.

4.  On the downside, March has been a rather shitty month so far, except for today.  I started the extreme early morning of March 1st being woken up by someone breaking into my neighbors car.  I have suspicion as to who did it but I have no way to prove it.  Our justice system is a joke anyway.  Even though it's been crappy so far, I have hopes that it will end up being a good month in the end.

5.  I finally finished my Disney Trip vlog as well as my Document Your Life vid for the past few months.  Both can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/user/criminalmastermind8

February Blues

1. I fail at my drawing a day.  I got through January but once February hit I just haven't picked it back up.  There's something about the month of February that always puts me in a funk.  Most likely because it's normally the harshest winter month around here.  Ohio doesn't offer much to do in the winter months which is probably a contributing factor as to why there are so many bars.

2.  I am 37 books into my 150 book reading goal for this year so far.  I've even conquered some pretty thick ones which has helped me clear them off of my shelves.  I used to love hoarding books but now I want rid of most of them.  It's clutter.  I only want the ones that I absolutely love so I'm in the process of weeding out the losers.

3. During these boring winter months, I have made a big dent on catching up on my scrapbooking this year.  I have now started and completed my trip to Washington DC from 2014 which was an absolute doozy to finish since I believe it's around 50 pages long.  I also have started and completed the road trip Megan and I went on in early April of last year.  I still have my whole 2010/2011 scrapbook to work on.  Luckily it is currently all planned out and I just printed more pictures for it last week so I can jump on that soon.  Then all I have left is the rest of the 2014/2015 scrapbook which is currently my largest scrapbook but that one is all planned out too.  Since I picked scrapbooking back up this year, I always do it with Big Bang Theory on the tv screen.  I've been making my way through the seasons again and today I just started the 5th season.  After I get through the rest of these I'm not sure if I want to re-watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch or Parks and Recreation.

4.  Evan and I had a nice Valentines Day even though he was sick and I had to work earlier that day.  For the first time since we started dating we actually went to a restaurant on Valentines Day.  Normally we would either eat out at another time to "celebrate" or cook something at home.  We went to Sorrentos which is an Italian place in Sheffield.  I had bruschetta and ziti, both of which were very good and gave me plenty of leftovers.  We then had Suzin L chocolate covered strawberries for dessert like we always do.  We always say that if we move out of state we will need to have them shipped to us.  No other chocolate compares.

Pre-Sleep Thoughts: Take One

Like many people, or I assume like many people, I do my deepest thinking when I'm trying to fall asleep.  Which is what I had been trying to do for the past twenty minutes, yet here we are.

Since coming home from work I had been thinking about traveling.  I've been watching videos of someone on YouTube and their current trip to Hawaii which has made me think about my own past and hopefully future travels.  This led me to think about my trip to Washington DC two years ago which led me to think about when I went into the National Cathedral.  I almost didn't end up going to the cathedral because it was bloody cold after hoofing it around the Basin and the National Zoo in the morning and afternoon but it was a stop on our trolley tour and I figured if I don't check it out now I might never get the chance to.  This led me to think about that particular feeling you get when you enter churches.  Maybe it's just me but there's just a certain feeling about walking into a place that is deemed holy.  It's honestly really hard to describe.  I suppose it's like you're suddenly being held to certain standards.  For example, it's probably not the best idea to scream "GODDAMMIT" when you drop your camera on the ground.  Or maybe it's the idea that the whole formation of the place was brought on by years and years of passed down stories.  It could also be all the eyes from the statues, paintings, and tapestries just staring at you.  Is it the collective souls of those who have visited the very place as a last resort at a time in need?   Something lives in those walls that even a non-religious person like myself feels.

Where's My Hoverboard?

1.  Two weeks into 2016 and I still can't believe it's 2016.  I didn't make a New Years resolution but I did challenge myself to complete a little drawing everyday.  So far it's been successful.  I'm not sure exactly why I chose to do this but it's actually been pretty rewarding.  They aren't perfect but I love them because they are mine.  It's also been a reminder to finish what I've started.  It's been fun to come up with different things to draw everyday and I'm finally using my lego box of colored pencils so double win.

2.  Another goal of this year was to read 150 books.  This shouldn't be a problem because I set the same goal last year and finished over 260.  I've also been picking up more books that I own that I need to read to clear some out for a hopeful move this year.  Like really REALLY hopeful.

3.  To go along with the following topic, I have also gotten back into cleaning and organizing.  There's just something way more relaxing about an organized space and I'm much more likely to put things back where they belong when everything has a place.  This is always a work in progress but it feels great to get rid of the clutter.  It has also made me a lot more careful to any purchases I make because there is so much stuff I may like but I really don't need and don't have a place for.  So it saves money too!

4.  Other activity/travel goals for 2016 include:

• Kayak anywhere.  After last summer with my first time in a kayak I really want to do this again.  It was so much fun.
• See a new state.  If everything works out as planned I'll actually see four new states so here's hoping!
• Get back to the Lake Erie Islands
• Go on a wine tasting.  I did this last year but I couldn't taste the flavor, I could only tell where it hit my tongue.  Thanks, sinus infection...
• Hike around the Holden Arboretum in the spring/summer.

Farewell, 2015

Normally I do this post around the last three days of the year but shit happens and I'm allowed to be lazy on this.  So now while I'm procrastinating on things, I feel the urge to finally do my usual summary of the year.

January: Honestly the year started off pretty shitty.  After having an awesome NYE party with friends, Evan had to put his dog down on New Years day.  Then two days later he got the most frustrating beagle which is still with him now.  This dog is a freakin' dumbass.  HE EATS ROCKS and EVERYTHING ELSE.  The little shit.
Moving on, Steph and Matt came up for a weekend and we went on some adventures which was fun.  However, it was the same weekend as Evan's uncles funeral so as you can see January had its ups and downs.

February: The only thing I really remember about February is being the only one in my department working on Valentine's Day during a blizzard and two people walked in my room the whole day.  I cleaned play-food the whole time.

March: This month was spent frantically looking for items for a vacation in April.  I also saw the live-action Cinderella in theaters and Insurgent.  Evan and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary by going to the Cheesecake Factory.

April: Post-Easter Monday was spent haulin' ass all the way to Hershey, PA for the start of a road trip with Megan for Spring Break.  More her spring break since I just don't get breaks anymore because adulting, but spring break nonetheless.  One day was spent at Hershey Chocolate World where we took a cool trolley around town that talked about the history and everything.  We ate at a cute little Italian place called Fennicis for dinner that night.  The next day we headed out to Yorktown, Virginia.  On the way we passed through Maryland which then became the 12th state I've ever been to.  We also went to Virginia Beach, Jamestown, and Williamsburg.  Unfortunately, the first day of the whole trip I got a sore throat and progressively got sicker as the vacation went on.  We cut the trip a day early, skipping a visit to Mount Vernon, and headed straight home.  I then get my first sinus infection!

May: Evan and I went to the Disney Store for Star Wars day so I could get a pin again.  We then discovered the amazingness of The Rail which due to recent changing of the menu they have removed my favorite burger and are now not as amazing but still good.  We go to the Cleveland Zoo which has really gone downhill sadly and I visit the West Side Market for the first time where I fall in love with Monks.  Jess graduated with her bachelors degree.  I went to our local Memorial Day parade and got goodies at Grandpas Cheesebarn.  Evan and I saw 'Tomorrowland' in theaters.  Grandma is sent to the hospital which leads to a big issue in an upcoming planned vacation.  Vacations just aren't going well for me.

June:  I attend my fist Indians game of 2015, they lost.  Our vacation to Upstate New York becomes heavy hearted and cut short but was still a good time.  I kayaked for the first time, snarfed a really good amount of an extra large pizza at Arts Jug, and returned to my favorite custard stand, Lickety Split.  I finally did something I always wanted to do which was play Bingo with my grandma and other senior citizens.  Evan and I saw 'Inside Out' in theaters.  Gay marriage became legal!!!  Steph and Matt come back up for a few days where we thrift and played mini golf.  Evan and I tied.

July: Evan and I play mini golf rematch, we tied.  AGAIN.  We still have yet to have the rematch of all rematches as I write this in January of 2016.  IT'S COMING.  Megan and I went to the Ashland Balloon Festival where only a few balloons flew due to fog.  We also spontaneously ended up watching the Ashland Fourth of July-Bicentennial parade which was pretty neat, except we didn't plan food into this and were starving.  I explored Cascade Park with friends after a looong time.  Megan and I explored a small part of Cuyahoga Valley National Park in which we follow a trail we can't tell if it's really the trail we want and semi-freak out that we are lost and will die.  It was the right trail, it was marked as strenuous.  We made it to the waterfall.  We rewarded ourselves with smoothies.  In one weekend my mom and I went shopping in Columbus and then I went to the Detroit Zoo aka my favorite zoo.  I finally got to the beach, but not my usual beach which was under construction, but Huntington Beach which was pretty nice too.  I went to my second Indians game of 2015 for work, they won.  I went on my second visit to the National First Ladies Museum and also on that day, my best friend got engaged!

August:  I turned 25 which feels like a scary number and now I just don't care.  I still feel like I'm 16 except I'm not restricted from any purchases.  A majority of August was spent outside soaking up some rays in my kiddie pool and/or this weird campground pool in Brunswick.  I got back to the county fair after two or three years.  Megan and I saw One Direction in concert.

September:  I saw the Cleveland Pops concert in the square.  Staff day happened.  Amish Country happened.  I don't remember too much about September.

October:  Ah, the month of exploring the outdoors.  We had an unseasonably warm October which made for a really long and beautiful fall season.  In fact, it's still unseasonably warm.  It's almost mid-January and the grass is still green, no part of Lake Erie is frozen, and I have yet to have measurable snowfall on the lawn.  It's pretty flippin' fantastic.  Anyways, Evan decides he likes going on walks so we start visiting a bunch of the metroparks, especially Sandy Ridge.  Megan and I explore the Holden Arboretum which is amazeballs omg go here.  NATURE people, yes.  We also went to the Columbus Zoo which I hadn't been to in over three years.  Freakin' baby lions.  Then a polar bear was born a week after we were there.  My mom and I went to Pittsburgh.

November:  I get tossed to a different building at work.  Megan and I start walking around some metroparks where we get pretty lost and think we're gonna die but I'm writing this now so all is well.  Evan and I see 'The Good Dinosaur' in theaters.

December:  I return to Walt Disney World for the fifth time.  We stayed at Pop Century and Port Orleans French Quarter.  It was amazing as usual.  We also had a few off days where we went to Cocoa Beach and had a blast.  Went with Steph as she tried on wedding dresses, and just had a bunch of good times.  I saw 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' in theaters, twice.  I'm now up to three times because I also saw it yesterday but yesterday wasn't in 2015.

For having a fairly shitty first half the year was actually pretty great.  I would say it was better than 2014.

October Thoughts and May Dreams

1.  Every time fall comes I dread the food choices.  I hate pumpkin everything.  Why can't we have raspberry season where everyone goes crazy with different kinds of raspberry items?  Raspberry cheesecake, raspberry spice lattes, raspberry cookies, raspberry pie shakes.
In other food: I also don't like bones in my meat so I don't eat turkey come Thanksgiving.  I don't like ham, stuffing, or gravy.  For me, fall is just the season of bad food.

2. I had a four year old in at work this week who wanted to get on the computer.  At my workplace in order to get on the computer you need a library card or some form of ID.  Since he had neither and his mother wasn't with him to show her ID he asked if he could make a library card.  I said of course, gave him crayons and some scrap paper and he made his own library card.  Of course he expected to get on the computer with it.  There is some hope for the younger generations.

3. We had a staff pumpkin decorating contest at work which is currently going on.  I made my pumpkin into an elephant which I'm actually quite proud of.  Go vote on it so I can win some pizza.

4. My mom and I went to Pittsburgh yesterday to do some shopping.  I'm very disappointed in the fashions this season.  Everything is bulky, thick, insanely patterned, and is the same from store to store.  There is also no color.  This is coming from someone who had an entire black closet in the 8th grade.

5. The Browns lost today.  lol.  Honestly, I really like football but I think the NFL is a shitty organization so I don't support any of their teams.  A lot of players have issues, are overpaid and just don't have anywhere near as much heart in the game as high school football players do.

6.  Does anyone actually get salmonella from eating raw cookie dough?  I'm thinking it's all just lies.

7. I refuse to believe I fall the first snow flakes of the season yesterday.  Absolutely refuse.

Killer BLT's

Fall has arrived in Northeast Ohio.  With that comes indecisive weather, my first cold of the season, and an unsurprising influx of bad drivers.  At least there's still apple cider.

1. Evan and I have been making our rounds to places we wanted to visit again before a very hopeful move next year.  This past September we went to Amish Country which I have never been that big of a fan of but it's just one of those Ohio things.  As usual, the food was fabulous at Der Dutchman and I was able to find a few art pieces for myself and an item for my mom.  One thing that I absolutely love about Amish County is the scenery and just overall happiness of the people visiting.  It's hard to be pissed off on a Monday when you are surrounded by the simplicity of the rolling hills of nature and tiny shops of random oddities.

2.  Going along with a very hopeful move next year, I have been reading the books I own that I haven't read yet and deciding which ones I really want to keep.  My goal is to lug as little as possible because that would just make sense.  You don't want a lot of baggage in a new relationship so why would you want it in new living quarters?  I have been constantly getting rid of clutter and really trying to narrow down my material goods.

3. I have discovered that I am HORRIBLE with candles.  I recently finished off a candle that I started burning in May.  First of all, I didn't burn it long enough during the first light so the "life line" of the candle didn't take up the whole diameter so every time it burned, it would stop in the same circle it was first lit instead of going to the edges.  I was determined not to make the same mistake with this new candle.  Well...I accidentally cut the wick too short and after two and a half hours of burning it still had a tiny pool.  So now this one has an even smaller life line.  Like many Browns fans, there's always next time.

4.  I made fastpasses for our upcoming WDW trip at midnight and we had no problems at all getting what we wanted.  We are so excited for our already fifth trip to the Happiest Place on Earth.  Each trip just keeps getting better and better.  This year will be our longest trip with six park days and two and a half days off.

5.  Besides planning Disney we have also been discussing what we want to do on our spring trip to NYC.  We have NEVER been and oh damn there is so much to choose from.  All the food, sights, sounds, smells, gah!  This has been on hold planning-wise at least until after Christmas.  It's still so much fun to think about though.

Midnight Memories

Yesterday, I attended the One Direction concert here in Cleveland and I learned many things.

First, let's rewind to last September when tickets first went on sale.

Actually, let's go back even further to summer of 2012 when 'What Makes You Beautiful' was one of the biggest songs.  At first, I was annoyed with the song.  It was always on the radio, people were always singing it in public, and it was just in my face EVERYWHERE.  I was sick of it and would piss and moan every time I heard it.  Then, one of my best friends and I would hear it while heading to or home from the beach that summer and ironically I would sing along.  LeakyCon Chicago came around near the end of that summer and the song was still in full force.  People were jamming to it around the hotel and of course it was played at the Ester Earl Charity Ball where hundreds of us were jamming.  I had started to grow an appreciation for the song.

Time went by and I never paid the band much attention.  I did like 'One Thing' but that was about as far as I got.  Now, back to last September.  One of my other best friends had NEVER been to a concert before and she really enjoyed 1D's music and stated that she would love to see them in concert.  So when she found out they were coming to Cleveland on their tour next year I knew we would go so tickets were purchased.

The year leading up to the concert I again didn't pay them much mind.  I was going for a friend and I was okay with that.  Most of our time in the car consisted on listening to at least one of their CD's and while I caught on to a few of the songs, I never exclusive sought time to listen to their music.

Yesterday, the day came.  I was going to a concert where thousands of screaming girls,  most likely at least a few years younger than myself, would go absolutely bonkers for these guys on stage.  Oh joy.  However, the way the boys were on stage impressed me.  They were very thankful of their fans and you can tell that they know they wouldn't be where they are now if it weren't for the fans.  They were constantly thanking everyone and showing such an appreciative-ness that I have never seen at any of the several concerts I've been to.  In fact they even solidified that the lead singer of Papa Roach is an asshole because instead of thanking everyone he just called everyone fuckers.  The boys were also very mature but also had tasteful fun on stage.  They weren't trying to get with any girls and instead spoke to an older couple that were celebrating their anniversary.

In summary, these are the things I learned:

1. These thousands of screaming girls have passion and it's contagious.  They care so much for these gentlemen it's really quite astonishing.  Not all of them just want to bang them, they care about their life and are supportive through everything the band has been through this year.  It's really great to see something so positive in such a negative world.  I was given hearts and glow sticks by some of the fans that I didn't even know to hold up during certain songs to show support.

2. The UK raise their men right and the US has a looooong way to go to catch up.

3. The Rapid is full of thirsty dudes.  To the point of being ridiculous.

4. Take a chance on things.  You may learn something. ;)

Tomorrow's Just Another Day and I Don't Believe in Time

Time goes by and I have celebrated yet another birthday.  I am now 25 and many people have reminded me that this also equals a quarter of a century.  Yippee?

Over the past few days or so I have mostly been thinking about places I have been and how a part of me will always be at some of those places that I have grown special attachments to.  Here are some examples:

1. The western side of Upstate New York on and around Lake Ontario.  These are where my very few family vacations have taken place.  It was here that I saw my immediate family in a different way other than just getting together to eat for holidays.  I also met and see my extended family here.  I've enjoyed staying at cottages right on the lake here.  It will always be one of my favorite places to go and will continue to be like another home to me.

2. Robertson Lake in Ontario, Canada.  This was my first real vacation and ultimate camping experience.  Part of me will always be at this little lake of wonder.  It's where I first gained confidence in swimming.  It's where I first really discovered my appreciation of nature.

3.  Pine Island beach/Inverness/Orlando, Florida.  As an Ohioan you are taught that Florida is paradise.  When I finally made it there in 2009 at 19 I was amazed by how different (yet strangely similar) Florida is to everything that I'm used to in Ohio.  I still get extremely excited every time I see palm trees and geckos everywhere.  I had the opportunity to discover more of Florida than just Disney World in the summer of 2012 during a roadtrip that just made me love the state even more.

4.  Millennium Park, Chicago, Illinois.  Whenever I think about Chicago I think about the canal in Lurie Gardens in Millennium Park.  I loved the peace that soaking my feet in the canal gave in the middle of the city.

Millennium Park is the only place in this list that I have been to just once.  All of the others have been twice with the exception of the Orlando area of Florida which is now around five times and soon to be six.

Each of these places are very special to me and I always look forward to visiting new places to add to the list.

Month 1 of 12

1.  January ends this week which has given me my first taste of what 2015 has to offer so far.  Let's take a look:

• a) Karma has been working so far.  Bravo.
• b) Less worrying.  I've learned to trust myself more.
• c) Giving less shits.  This has proven to be one of the best things so far.  I narrowed down what I see on Facebook to a select few people that I actually would care to see updates from.  Everyone else I see when I didn't click on the "Close Friends" column fast enough.  I spent too much time looking at everyone's updates.  Now that time is better spent watching The Simpsons.
• d) Taking on new things at work which has been very exciting.
• e) Losing some loved ones.  This mostly effects Evan but what effects Evan also effects to me.  RIP Casey Joe and Uncle Rick.

2.  Life Planning.  This has suddenly become more exciting than scary as fuck.  Disclaimer: this has nothing to do with children, getting married, or any of that other "gender norm wants" crap.  

3.  Snow still sucks.  Unless it does it when I don't have to go anywhere.  In that case, it still sucks, just significantly less.

4.  Vacation planning.  I've never planned a vacation on my own.  As in booking hotels, planning where to go on what day to make everything go smoothly and experience as many things as possible.  Which is especially hard when it's places I have never been at all.  Or even know anything about.  

5. Trying to organize and let go of things I don't need.  This actually goes along with the life planning.  When the time comes, I would like to transition the smallest amount of things I can.  The problem is, getting myself motivated to do this.  I had a lot of motivation at the end of 2014 and it has since subsided.  Unfortunately.

6.  I only have 4 pages left of my final Disney World scrapbook.  I said it would be finished before the end of February and it most definitely will be.  Woot!

2015 Bookish Resolutions

1. Read more series.  Including:

• Percy Jackson and if I fall in love with it then Heroes of Olympus so I can have debates with my co-workers.
• Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness
• Finish the Shatter Me series (I'm planning on doing this in January IF UNRAVEL ME WILL EVER COME IN AT THE LIBRARY *ahem*)
• Infernal Devices trilogy.  Even though I didn't like City of Bones, I would like to give her other series a shot.
• Actually finish the Twilight series because I never read Breaking Dawn.  I'll probably have to re-read the series because it's been a loooong time.
• Throne of Glass, Falling Kingdoms, Shadow and Bone, Mara Dyer, Lunar Chronicles, gah so many.

2. Read more books that I own.  I have too many un-read books on my shelves.  At least if I come across some I don't want to keep I can donate them and clear off room for books that I actually want there.

RIP 2014

I have severely neglected this blog this year which in all honestly I am okay with.  I don't need to put my whole life out there for the general public to see.  I'm just not about that life yo.  However, I am keeping with tradition of wrapping up my year on here and randomly updating when it crosses my mind.

January:  Ohio was slammed with crazy cold temperatures.  One night the windchill was -58 degrees Fahrenheit.  This was when a lot of people were scalding themselves because they threw pots of boiling water into the outside air (the water almost instantly freezes and turns into snow) without first calculating which way the wind was blowing.  I, was not one of those people.
Stephanie and Matt came up from Florida for a week of adventures which mostly included Mr. Hero and thrift store shopping.  We finalized our plans to return to Disney World this year in October.  I also bought my first smartphone, and iPhone 5s.

February: According to my journal this was a very boring month.  Ohio was still damn cold.  I did discover the crab linguini alfredo from Red Lobster though.  That shit is good.

March: We officially booked our Disney World trip for October.  My co-workers son had very unexpectedly passed away which slipped me into a depression.
I went to Washington D.C. for the first time which completely changed my point of view on life and the United States.  Evan and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary though I really don't remember what we even did.

April: Haha so I didn't write anything down in April and I didn't take any pictures.  So nothing happened in April.

May:  I went to a lot of parks this month.  I also went on an owl hike but didn't see or hear any owls.  There were bats though!  There were also a lot of thunderstorms.  One formed an EF-1 tornado a town over.  Evans dad lost his job so there was talk about us moving to Florida which unfortunately never happened.  Evan, Matt, and I went to Free Comic Book day as well as waiting in line at the Disney store on May 4th to get Star Wars pins.

June: Megan and I went to the BookLoft in Columbus.  Evan and I and our parents went to an Indians game.  Of course they lost. They seem to do that now when I attend.  I used to have a good winning streak going.  My mom and I stayed in Columbus for a weekend.  Evan and I went to the Cleveland zoo and renewed our zoo membership.

July: This was the first year Evan and I didn't go to the country club to watch the fireworks.  This was also the first year our city fireworks came back and we didn't go to that either.  I sat in my kiddie pool very often.  I also rode my bike to work.  I also was an emotional creature for stupid reasons.
Megan and I went to the Ashland Balloon Festival where I was going to ride in a hot air balloon but they started late and I didn't end up getting the chance to.  Lame.

August: I turn 24.  I also keep forgetting that I am 24.  I went with Evan and his parents to the Toledo zoo which we hadn't been to in awhile.  Their new penguin exhibit is awesome.  Stephanie and Matt were up from Florida again.  We went to the beach, thrift shopping, and all of the usual things we catch up on when they return.

September: Another month I don't have much about.  Gas prices started dropping.  This was the first time prices were less than $3 a gallon in forever.  Now at the very end of December they are even less than $2 a gallon in some places.

October: DISNEY WORLD!  We went from October 2nd-9th and stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge - Kidani Village.  This was the best trip yet.  We were constantly moving and doing stuff.  I somehow finished the Tower of Terror 10-Miler without training.  It was the hardest thing I have ever done.  It seriously made me wonder how the hell I completed a half marathon the year before.  During this trip we also went to Sea World where I pet a penguin.

November: Almost all of my friends and I were finally able to get together as a group to hang out for the first time in forever (no, this is not a Frozen reference).  We got together around Thanksgiving at the Winking Lizard and ended up at a house for shenanigans.  Big Hero 6 came out which is an amazing movie.  Go see it when you finish reading this.

December:  I officially move from working at Adult Reference to Youth Services.  I'm still getting used to the change but I hope I'm adapting pretty well.  Christmas time was actually great for once.  I was relaxed and happy instead of pretty angsty.  I am completely grateful for everything everyone gave me.  The generosity of people can blow me away sometimes.

So that was 2014.  It definitely had it's up and downs.  Here's hoping to a better 2015.  Apparently in my journal at the beginning of 2014 I wrote that I am more looking forward to 2015.  Well here it is!

Be The Change You Wish to See in the World

1.  There's something special about the day before your birthday.  Maybe it's the knowledge that it's the final day before a new beginning.  In a way, it's sort of like New Years Eve.  Just less explosive.  Unless the day before your birthday happens to fall on the 4th of July.  I'm not quite sure what it is, but I like it.

2.  Birthdays, however, have a strange pressure to be a great day.  You automatically expect something out of it.  This year, I'm not expecting anything out of it.  I will be 24 tomorrow.  If the number of years I've been alive were hours I would be one day old.  What a hell of a day it's been.

3.  Looking back on 23 I'm amazed at how much I've grown.  My entire thought process is almost completely different from what it used to be.  I appreciate more.  I expect less.  I observe and try to understand the world around me.  I make note of the little things that I used to not think about.  Question things.  In a way it has opened my mind to a whole new world.  A whole new experience.  It is a blessing and a curse.  I love having the power of understanding but it is also a great burden.  It ways heavy at times which frustrates me.  Makes me angry.  Which in turn is of no use.  Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering.  There is no point in wasting my energy on being angry.  There is also no point in getting flustered when plans don't go the way I wanted them to.  I finally learned to let it be.  That is what I will take into the next year of my existence.

Your Thoughts Come With 'Give a Penny, Take a Penny'

1.  This is the summer that wasn't summer.  It in no way feels like it should.  Or maybe I am just getting to old because this is my first summer that isn't following the completion of a school year.  Regardless, the weather has been much cooler than normal.  I have had a few days in just the past few weeks (the so called "dog days" of summer) where I have worn sweaters and zip-ups.  I haven't even worn shorts at all this year with the exception of swim shorts.  Summer was the season that always boosted my spirits but instead I feel the same melancholy way I have the whole year.  I seriously don't know what my problem is.  Will I always be in this funk?  Is this the fucking adulthood funk?  If so, how do people deal with this shit?

2.  I did, however, figure out a question I have had the past four or so years.  Has the world always been this messed up and I never noticed or is it just now really bad?  It has always been like this.  I just now have the knowledge to understand it and pay attention.  It's shitty, but I always try to force myself to look at the positive because there is so much of it.  Unfortunately, it doesn't receive the attention it deserves.

3.  All of these big life decisions seem to be dropping on me at once.  Does anyone ever really have their life together or is it a constant struggle to see what pieces fit the best?  Are we always searching for something that could possibly be better?  The majority of my high school classmates are either married, engaged, or have children.  I cannot even imagine any of those right now and that's not just because I have absolutely zero desire to ever have children and am not too keen on the whole marriage thing.  I'm feeling that my outlook on life is vastly different from those around me.  Which doesn't bother me too much, I am still very excited for someone when they are excited about any of the previously stated things, but it would be nice for someone else to understand.

4.  In two hours I will have approximately one week left of being 23.  I don't expect 24 to be much better since I will technically now be in my mid-twenties.  How the hell did that happen?   I really don't feel like I should be at this age already.  Almost a quarter of a century old.  It's sad when my next big age milestone will be 30.  Though, after all, it is just a number.

5.  Disney World will be in two months.  I cannot wait.  Though I wish I were staying there longer than a week.  I need one week for Disney and one week for just general Florida stuff with my friends.  I'm hoping to just be able to stay up all night one night so we could go to the ocean or something.  Experience the nature and not just the constructed funland.

The World is My Bivalve Mollusk

1. I dug my bike out of the garage and have been using it the past two weeks.  The exercise has felt amazing and so has the fresh air.  One of my goals for the summer is to bike to Teppan Square in Oberlin.  Reasoning: 1) Finally have Cowhaus Creamery and 2) I discovered the Oberlin College library has a book that I cannot find anywhere that I MUST READ.

2.  My world view has changed so much in just the past year.  I know that this will continue to happen as I age but I find it pretty damn exciting.  However, since I still feel like I am stuck in my rut of a hometown, I still have a strong desire to move elsewhere.  Right now the two possibilities are Boston and somewhere in Florida.  I'm perfectly content with either of these.
First of all, I would love to move to Boston because several publishing companies are there which is something that I would love to get into.  Some drawbacks are the fact that I have never been there so I am not sure how I would feel about the atmosphere.  Also, they still get snow and I just really want to get away from that shit.
I would also love to move to Florida because one of my best friends lives down there, there's always something to do, and there is no fucking snow.  The drawback is I have no idea what I would do career wise.  From what I have heard, Florida is hurting for jobs similar to how it is up here and that's not what I want to deal with for a long period of time.

3.  Our backyard tree was hacked down today.  It just makes me really sad.  I plan on planting a smaller tree in it's place but it's not the same.  I get tired of humans destroying the nature with its tacky human made items.  About a month ago we were driving down a street in North Olmsted, a bird was running across the street.  Now why it wasn't flying, who knows, but that's not the point.  I saw a car hit this bird.  At first I was completely upset and had lost all hope in the world but then I was angry.  I was so fucking pissed that humans take everything for granted.  There is no appreciation for the planet they fucking inhabit.  Humans destroy the planet without giving two shits.  I'm still very upset about that day and consider it one of the worst days of my life.