I'm Not Dead, At Least on the Outside...

1. Uh, hi.  This is awkward.  Been awhile.  How are you?

2. Things that happened in the last almost 3 years:

• Evan and I got engaged.  No there is no date planned, no you're not invited because while I may be engaged, I still hate weddings and don't want one.  Evan isn't as easy to convince as he wants something like super small.  I pointed it out to him that just us is in fact super small but he's not buying it.  In my mind we've been married for the last five years so all of this wedding business is nothing special.  Marriage is a state of mind, not a ceremony.
• I finally got my drivers license and a car.  Yeah, yeah, took long enough I know.  I don't like being thrown into things I'm not ready for and, well, I was finally ready for that one.  Don't let anyone rush you into things you're not ready for.
• Holy travel, Batman!  I finally went all over New England three times in the past year and a half.  I returned to the Upper Peninsula for some hiking and beaching.  I hadn't been to the UP since 2008.  Two more returns to Disney World.  Unfortunately I have no immediate travel plans this year.  No vacations are planned and I'm feeling so blah about it. 
• I continue to learn more about myself than I ever have.  My self confidence has sky-rocketed.  Anxiety is at an all time low.  I took up yoga the past few years and started going to the gym this year and I've been feeling much better about my outlook on life and myself.
• I've read so many books.  Gah.  So many.
• I slid down a hill and got my pants muddy.  Okay, this was yesterday but that's still within the past almost 3 years frame.  Fun fact: even dry leaves are pretty slippery.  Goodtimes.

3. I've been bothered by the next direction I want to go in.  Part of me wants to take off and live somewhere completely new and part of me wants to stay around the Cleveland area.  I've been trying to sit back and as Christians say "let God handle it" and while it's rough I've been letting the universe run its course.  I just feel like if I don't get active about it nothing will happen and I'll just be stuck in the same beat up town with the same part time job going nowhere.  Maybe one day I'll stop being a turd.

4. I'm currently reading a book about gun violence in Chicago.  The US in general has some big gun issues, however, I have been fortunate enough to have only seen the guns by father owns as well as police guns in real life.  I've never seen another civilian with a gun.  I'm not against people owning guns at all.  You're allowed.  I've just always found them cowardly.  Something to hide behind instead of facing things yourself.  I know other people disagree and I'm totally cool with that.  Maybe one day we'll all stop being turds.

5. I need to learn to show my appreciation more.  To let people know I care about them.  I've always been the person that cares a shit ton, usually too much, but then will act like I don't care.  I should probably stop that.  People like to know you care for them.  It's part of the human condition.