Be The Change You Wish to See in the World

1.  There's something special about the day before your birthday.  Maybe it's the knowledge that it's the final day before a new beginning.  In a way, it's sort of like New Years Eve.  Just less explosive.  Unless the day before your birthday happens to fall on the 4th of July.  I'm not quite sure what it is, but I like it.

2.  Birthdays, however, have a strange pressure to be a great day.  You automatically expect something out of it.  This year, I'm not expecting anything out of it.  I will be 24 tomorrow.  If the number of years I've been alive were hours I would be one day old.  What a hell of a day it's been.

3.  Looking back on 23 I'm amazed at how much I've grown.  My entire thought process is almost completely different from what it used to be.  I appreciate more.  I expect less.  I observe and try to understand the world around me.  I make note of the little things that I used to not think about.  Question things.  In a way it has opened my mind to a whole new world.  A whole new experience.  It is a blessing and a curse.  I love having the power of understanding but it is also a great burden.  It ways heavy at times which frustrates me.  Makes me angry.  Which in turn is of no use.  Anger leads to hate.  Hate leads to suffering.  There is no point in wasting my energy on being angry.  There is also no point in getting flustered when plans don't go the way I wanted them to.  I finally learned to let it be.  That is what I will take into the next year of my existence.